N stands for Nothing

Let nothing, nothing, stand in the way of your dreams.

I did that for years. It started when I was a teenager and I never thought I was ‘good enough’ to follow them. Everyone else followed theirs. But somewhere along the line, I learned that I wasn’t meant for college. I wasn’t focused enough to go through with higher education — at least, that’s what I was told. That’s what I absorbed. Because when someone close to you is constantly saying ‘She’ll never…’ you trust it. You believe it. It becomes true.

My first dream was to be a fashion model. I even went to modeling school to learn how to walk, eat correctly, and put on make-up. I did some light modeling, but quickly learned it wasn’t for me.

My next dream was to move to New York and be a full time author. Instead, I got married (still not going to college.) That pretty much killed that dream. I stayed in that marriage for six or seven years before I left. The reasons why don’t matter.

A few years after that, I became a mom for the first time, which took up a LOT of my focus. Various reasons after that kept me from writing and turning it into a career.

This isn’t to complain about the path my life took. It’s simply to illustrate how easy it is to lose sight of what you really want with other things you also want. And it’s completely possible to do both.

Now, at what is the middle of my life, I’m letting nothing stand in my way. I may never be the next Robert Jordan, and that’s okay… as long as I’m true to me and my wants.

Nothing stands in my way, least of all my own insecurities.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “N stands for Nothing

  1. You go! You can reach your dreams!

  2. Sometimes, life teaches you lessons that no college does. So, don’t regret your past. You wouldn;t be who you are if you weren’t who you were!!

    And yes, Reach for the sky!!

    • Exactly. While I wish I’d walked this path earlier, there’s no telling that I would have succeeded earlier. All I can do now is work with the skill set, and determination, I currently possess.

  3. By the way, how do you handle someone who keeps doubting you all the time? Someone who keeps telling you that whatever you do wasnt good enough.
    Should you take discouragement as the fuel to pump you more or should you just leave and move out of all the negativity around you?

    What is your take?

    • That’s a very interesting question, Nemo, and I wish there was a straight forward answer to it. All I can really say is it truly depends on the person. My sister and I have spoken about this very thing. While the mutual person in our lives showed me, through inaction, how whatever I did would never be ‘good enough’ and I believed it, she took that same inaction directed at her and decided to prove that person wrong. Two sides of the same coin, with very different results.
      As an adult, one of the reasons I left my first marriage was because my then husband didn’t believe in my writing and didn’t support me emotionally at all. It’s very difficult to do something artistic when you’re constantly being beaten down.

      • Yeah, As you say, two sides for a coin. 🙂

        Stay and Fight v/s Leave and Embrace.

        Both of them have their own shares of turmoils to deal with!!

  4. I so needed this today 🙂 I am right there with you…’It’s my life and I’ll live it my way” – words from Jon Bon Jovi ‘It’s My Life’ – You can be ANYTHING!! you go girl 🙂

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