2012 is my year. Moreso than last year ever was. This year I started college, I have a ‘core’ group of people who support my writing beyond the ‘Yay! It’s great!’ cheer leading which, while important, is only part of being supportive. I’ve finally figured out who I’ll share my work with; whose opinions I value over others; and who will understand that, at heart, I’m insecure when it comes to my writing… and that’s okay, because it doesn’t mean I’ll stop.
I stepped back and decided, this year, to focus on one creative endeavor at a time. My first one is to strengthen and submit a manuscript. I plan on throwing off the shackles of my fear and embracing the wilds of agent submissions. The theory being if you throw something at a wall enough, eventually it’s bound to stick…right? (Don’t hit me with the whole ‘paper won’t stick to walls!’, etc. I’m not looking for logical responses, here! 😀 ) After that will come the novella I’ll eventually self-publish. After all, the turtle won the race by running slow and steady… the hare just got winded. I’m tired of being winded. 😀
This year is my year. Not because it’s been easy. It hasn’t.
Mike lost his job a month ago. Nothing like an unexpected kick to make you clench your teeth and try not to scream to the heavens. But he has a new job now. A better job; maybe not in terms of what he’s doing (back to driving for a living), but in terms of benefits. It’s headquartered literally ten minutes from our house. No more budgeting out over $100 a week for gas prices. This also means I have access to our car when I have a need. I just have to take him to work and pick him back up. His pay scale is better, as well. And the company follows D.O.T. regulations, which means he has a cap on the number of hours they are allowed to work him in a week. After the whole broken foot incident, that makes me extremely happy.
I feel stronger this year than I did last year. I have a plan for my life and the means and support to see it through. I’m not focusing on the ‘should’ve, could’ve’ of my past. The past is what it is. I can’t change it and I won’t be beaten down any longer because of it. I made my choices and they all led me here.
And here is pretty damn good.