Loving someone isn’t all roses and fairy tales, even though as children that’s what we’re lead to believe. Nor is it being ‘in love’. ‘In love’ is easy compared to the real thing. In love doesn’t take into account toilet seats that have been left up (or down!), dirty clothing on the floor right next to the hamper, or dishes in the sink when the dishwasher has dirty dishes in it.
Love is caring about another person’s well being more than your own. Love is looking that other person in the eyes and thinking ‘Yes, there are flaws. No, he isn’t perfect. But guess what? That’s okay. I can live with it, because what I get is worth it, and living without him isn’t an option.’
In love is the prince on the white steed who wants to sweep into your life and take you off into the sunset, where your every whim is fulfilled, but in reality he doesn’t know you, nor does he truly understand you. Being in love with him is waiting by the phone, hoping he’ll call and being upset when he doesn’t.
Meanwhile, love is puttering around the house, knowing the phone will ring because he can’t not talk to you just as much as you can’t not talk to him.
Love is never, ever having to ‘prove’ your love through flowers or candy or cards at society approved times, but gifting them because seeing a smile on your loved one’s face means the world to you.
Now I’m not saying you can’t be in love and love the same person… but it doesn’t always happen that way. If you’re very lucky, it does and that changes your entire world. You’ve married your best friend. The one person you can’t imagine living without. And everything falls into place.
Life doesn’t suddenly become perfect, but there is a peace and sense of security that comes with knowing you’re married to someone who completes and complements you and whom you complete and complement in turn.
My husband often says ‘I don’t go out because Shanti is at home, and that’s where the party is.’
I agree. My husband is the ‘party’ for me, even if we’re doing nothing but sitting on the couch, watching television.